They're like the real world meets boy meets world meets days of our lives...Meets Rube Goldberg?

There is a plant on the porch.
There is a stick supporting the plant that is on the porch.
There is a bit of plastic supporting the stick that is supporting the plant that is on the porch.
There is a clamp holding the plastic that is supporting the stick that is supporting the plant that is on the porch.
There is a two-by-four grasped in the clamp that is holding the plastic that is supporting the stick that is supporting the plant that is on the porch.
There is a wooden saw-horse supporting the two-by-four that is grasped in the clamp that is holding the plastic that is supporting the stick that is supporting the plant that is on the porch.
There is a porch holding up the saw-horse that is supporting the two-by-four that is grasped in the clamp that is holding the plastic that is supporting the stick that is supporting the plant that is on the porch.
There is a plant on the porch that is holding up the saw-horse that is supporting the two-by-four that is grasped in the clamp that is holding the plastic that is supporting the stick that is supporting the plant that is on the porch.
There is a stick supporting the plant...

'nuff said.

This is reminding me, incredibly, of the bits and pieces of soap operas that I have seen.
This is a general (though over-simplified) plot summary:

Guy meets girl.
Girl has evil former boyfriend.
Evil former boyfriend sabotages Guy's family business.
Guy's mafia contacts get a hit man on evil former boyfriend.
Girl's uncle suddenly goes inexplicably missing.
Girl locks herself in apartment and doesn't answer phone.
Guy's long-lost cousin turns up, and tells everyone that he's an FBI agent.
Mafia catches up with Evil Former Boyfriend, and it turns out to be the long-lost cousin.
Standoff ensues (lasts for four episodes, with straining emotion on all sides)
Missing uncle turns up (in the middle of standoff) with inexplicable scars, saying he'd been golfing for a week.
REAL bad guy shows up (it can either be the original girl, the mafia contact, the butler, or a previously unnamed character), draws automatic weapons, and ends standoff, with at least one major character (who was previously thought to be bad) dying heroically to save the rest, and repenting and confessing that he loves some random other character, who cries passionately for the rest of the season.
The entire cast gathers in a final scene, where the disappointing facts are unsatisfactorily revealed, and where the original Guy gets engaged to his greatest love.

I prefer the porch...

The soap opera, I must confess, is

non hilarium ad nauseum