September 22, 2008

The Brotherhood of the Travelling Retainers

About two years ago (almost exactly two years ago, actually), I finally had all the permanent orthodontic appliances removed from my mouth. I'd had braces for nearly two and a half years before that, and I was ready.

(if you've had braces, you'll know what I mean)
(If you haven't had braces, just imagine tying yourself by the teeth to a running ceiling fan with short string. Now try to imagine sleeping that way...for two years...)

Anyhow, when orthodontists remove your braces, they give you a retainer to keep things from immediately going back to where they came from in your mouth. I've had these retainers for two years now, and I'm used to putting them in and getting them out, and talking around them, and (thankfully) I now only have to wear them at night.
I would say I'm used to them by now, and with good reason, right?

But....
One wonders when one wakes up in the morning with no retainers in one's mouth, knowing full well that they were inside when one went to sleep.
One knows incontrovertibly, however, that he has "routine retainers" when one finds his retainers safely tucked away in their case that same morning, stacked neatly on top of one another, just as he always stacks them, and has absolutely no recollection of how in the world they got there.

Some people think sleepwalking is remarkable, but can you take your retainers out and put them away in a bathroom 40 feet from your bed in your sleep?

I just hope this uncanny ability doesn't extend itself to other things...

:-P

1 comment:

Elizabeth said...

Wow. That is...just wow. I had braces for 2 years, and now have a retainer, but never have I found myself removing them in my sleep. Amazing story :)