Ode, to the first experience of an Ohio winter, opus 2.

Oh, say, Can you see

--By the Dawn's early light--

How the weather is frigid

and the sun isn't helping.

And my nose's red glare, in the freezing cold air

Gives proof, beyond hope,

That life is still there.

Oh, Say, does it feel like your face will freeze off:

Here in the land of the blue, and the home of the insane.

---OR---

Jingle Toes, Jingle Toes,

Jingle all the way.

Oh, what fun it is to walk on feet that you can't feel -- Ouch!

Jingle Toes, Jingle Toes,

Please walk Carefully!

If you don't, your toes will crack, and then you'll REALLY cry.

I will be returning to warm, sunny, Cali next week, and I can't wait!!!

The Raeeyn in Spaaeeeyn falls maaaeenly...up??!?

Cedarville is not famous for its rain.  There is more rain in the Amazon, in Florida, and especially in the Pacific Northwest.  However, when we do get a good bang-up thunderstorm, it falls in spades.

Nevertheless, Cedarville is famous for its wind.  Even on a clear day (and sometimes especially on such), the wind is merciless.  In the early morning, it is biting, in the forenoon, it is chilling, and in the evening, its just kinda pesky.

When a thunderstorm occurs, therefore...  it is epic.

Watch:



I took this video a few weeks ago, from the bottom of the student center.

Professor quotes...

In calculus today:
"...and if you're dealing with irrational numbers, your "u" has to be positive"

My mind, responding to this perfectly rational (npi) statement, when seen in context of differentiation of natural logs, thinks:
hmm... how can I twist this?  It could mean that when dealing with radicals, like muslims and Christian fundamentalists, keep your female sheep happy.

aaah...sometimes you have to make your own hilarium ad infinitum...

You Know (part 3)

You know you have a more than normal roommate, when you hear this exchange coming out of a room, like so many others on the hall, whose occupants are mentally consumed with girls, video games, sports, or cars:
Roomie (somewhat randomly and loudly): Wow...that's NOTHING!!
Me (nonchalantly): what?
Roomie (still somewhat excited): This jawbone... it's not even complete...sheesh...

see what I mean?

Roomie, you're awesome...we need more jawbone comments and less naked men in this dorm.

A Cedarville Lexicon...

Every college has its own jargon, Cedarville notwithstanding.  Therefore, in order to help all of you understand my life in the terms that I experience it in, I will Lexicise you, for your betterment.

First, we have the acronyms:
The simple ones which you all could have guessed anyhow, like:
CU - Cedarville University
RA - Resident assistant
RD - Dorm God (wait...that doesn't fit...there's something fishy here...)
AM - ante meridian (a time convention that they like to use here in the midwest, means "before noon"  Note: most students have no knowledge of this period of time, unless it be the first three or four hours if it)

The more complex ones relating to the buildings on campus -
SSC - Steven's Student Center
BTS - (Variant: CBTS) Center for Biblical and Theological Studies
DMC - Dixon Ministry Center, including the Jeremiah Chapel...which we all attend every day at 10 AM, unless there's swine flu oinking around.
ENS - Engineering, Nursing, and Science Building (also known as the realm of the geeks)

The still less comprehensible acronyms that stand for classes, mostly gen-ed classes:
CLT - Christian Life and Thought.  (one of the freshman bible courses, always located in the BTS, and therefore sometimes misconstrued as a mixture: BLT?)
SPIFO - (pronounced as a word, not spelled) SPIritual FOrmation (the other freshman bible course)
PACL - (again pronounced as a word, not spelled) Physical Activity and the Christian Life.  (does this just sound odd to some of you?)
Comp - Torture....or so I hear.
PAC -Politics and American Culture.  Not to be confused with PACL.

And, Lastly, the really random acronyms for other things:
SGA - Student Government Association
SCAB - Student Center Activity Board
OD - Open Dorm weekends (...I think...) jk...I know what OD stands for :-P
PDA - Personal Data Assistant...don't know why they have regulations on these...things like only hugging them briefly?!??!?

Random words:
Chucks - the cafeteria, run by one guy for almost 30 years...namely, Chuck.
Meat Market - (alternative spelling: Meet Market) The area between Printy Hall and Lawlor Hall, the two most ubiquitously freshmen dorms, respectively male-occupied, and female occupied.  It is normal to see a few desperate guys out there, strumming guitars, and waiting for "someone" to pass them by.


Now, consider yourself lexicized.

I leave you with one thing, that entered my mind upon seeing the drink counter in Chucks:
"to Dew, or not to Dew, that is the question.
whether it is nobler in the mind
to suffer the slings and arrows of outrageous insomnia,
or to take arms against a sea of homework, and by diligence,
End it."

Caffeine.  The student's best friend and worst enemy.

A Surfboard among Cornholers

I have lately been confronted with my own californian-ness, since I have moved to the midwest to continue with post-secondary education.
In other words, when I relate my country state of origin, the most common response is, "Oh. (awkward pause) Wow."
Or, possibly...

"Sweet!!" (with wide eyes and an incredulous look, intimating that they had heard that the species existed, but had never seen a live specimen.)

I think, however, that the source of these responses comes from things like this:

'Nuff said, eh?

You know... (part 2)

...you've been backpacking...

• When the hardness of a fast-food joint's chairs feels like an utter luxury.
• When you're surprised by the amazing taste of things that don't have DEET in them.
• When the term "clean hands" becomes relative.
• When even the thirty-second rule becomes restrictive to your eating habits.
• When popping popcorn over an open fire is the most entertaining thing you can think of to do.
• When your mosquito bite count exceeds your fingers' mathematical abilities.
• When your mosquito bite count is nothing to the number of minor scratches and abrasions inflicted by particularly vengeful and aggressive plants.
• When you don't care about the previous two points.
• When the mere sounds of the suburbs are oppressive to your ears.
• When "shower" is a word of fond, but distant memory.
• When the air around you looks brown.
• When you seem to be able to fly, because your 30 pound pack is not on your back.
• When nothing you see at home in the valley can compare to the majesty of the least of the vistas you just took in.
• When you're simply overwhelmed by the glory of God's creation.

Oh, and one last tip:
Sometimes, looking before you leap just isn't enough.
Sometimes, ground that looks perfectly solid at the start of your leap suddenly changes to knee-deep mud mid-air.
Sometimes, reversing course midair...

well...

actually...

that's NEVER possible.

Math fail...

Not your typical day at the...office...

So now that I'm working in an office setting, there are new dangers lurking around the corner, to slice up your fingers and remove bumpers.

First of all, watch your fingernails, when you're using a staple remover. They really are sharper than you think. (I mean the fingernails are... Well... The staple remover probably is too, but it looks like something from beyond the grave anyhow, so you know not to toy with that)

Second. the bumper of a car can come off. Like, not all the way off, but enough to make a horrible noise when you start moving out of your parking space. Beware of those little cement curbs. They steal bumpers. Thank God for little pocketknives, eh?

Third. Watch out for copiers that eat things. it's not pretty. Keep them happy, give them their offerings and sacrifices. DOOM.

Fourthly and Finally, beware the jub-jub bird, and shun the horrible "ipod ear"!

Since I'm doing something that requires little auditory concentration, I listen to music while I'm working, and by the end of a day, my ears have little red marks on them from all the times I trapped the cord of the earbuds under some papers and tried to walk away. Ow.

But hey, it's better than fast food!!!

You know...

You know you've been working too long on your term paper when...

~ Your fingers are so sore from typing that it hurts to type in your dreams.

~ You start speaking in academic language in normal conversation

(this actually sounds creepy, if you think about it:  "Hmm...One must understand that the speaker feels hungry.  Nothing could be further from the truth than to say that when one is hungry, they are completely satisfied.  Therefore..."  You get the picture :-P )

~ Syntax for you, of sentences, no longer normal is.  Read, have you, much english old.

(sounds like yoda, does it not?  Reason for this, there is.  Borrowed from Chaucer, did George Lucas, and from Spencer, their syntax he did emulate)

~ You begin to notice threads of arguments that fit into your paper as you watch movies.  You wonder if you could cite that Frank Capra movie as a secondary source.

~ You begin to hear the mockingbird across the street start making frog sounds.

Other symptoms may include, irritability, nausea, a hot lap from holding a laptop computer on it for hours on end, inexplicable urges to defenestrate obstreperous authors, and extreme cases of procrastination.

Term Paper:

Use only as directed.

:-)

You know you're a Baptist...

...when, as the echoes and reverb are dying in the sanctuary, the last ringing of the beautifully dissonant chord at the climax of "Go to Dark Gethsemane," just as the beautiful denouement of the good friday hymn is about to begin...

...you hear a loud AY-MAEN! from the congregation...

Any praise for lack of culture?

ugh...

It has been said...

...that the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again, and always expecting a different result...

well...

not exactly.

I read it in a comic strip once, though...I think...it must be true, right?

Anyhow, I know now that that particular principle cannot apply to computers.  One is most definitely not insane, if they try something on a computer twice the same way, expecting a different result.  There is a definite precedent for doing that, whatever those silly comic strips might say.

Also, if one wishes all the ancient poets to be insane, one needs look no further than this idea, for if we apply the saying "if again you don't succeed, try, try again" we must, by this definition, be wholly insane.  

if we, like Ahoshta Tarkaan, intend to continue quoting "the poets," I think we must discard this evidently corrupted definition.

We might, otherwise, also have to throw out our computers... :-)

The heady feeling...

...that I actually might survive the next few years is upon me.

Don't you love the feeling?
I mean the one when you realize that life isn't so bad after all, and that nothing horrible is likely going to happen to you in the near future.
Usually, of course, it's dispelled by the next online health article you see, but hey! What do I care?
Keep up the good life, Go read some comic books or something...


(I hasten to say how much it very much disturbs me that I'm writing such godless literature as this...forgive me :-P)